There are many different types of intelligence – such as linguistic or mathematical intelligence. There’s even “street smart” intelligence. Having a high IQ doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re particularly skilled in any of these things.
…The same is true of being emotionally intelligent.
Goleman refers to five components that are necessary to be emotionally intelligent – self awareness, self regulation, motivation, empathy and social skill.
So how does having these components help when it comes to dealing with stress?
Being self aware…
…not only gives you a deep understanding of what you are feeling and why, but it also allows you to comprehend how you’re perceived by others. Having this insight means that you are much more likely to be able to flex your behaviour and responses in stressful situations.
The result is that you can choose to behave in a manner that will cause less stress for yourself which, in turn, will have an impact on others – limiting conflict.
Emotionally intelligent people have a greater capacity to self-regulate.
This is extremely important in stressful situations, because it helps you remain calm and respond in an appropriate way. It makes you more resilient and able to recover more quickly from stressful events.
There’s also another factor comes onto play with this ability…
We all have mirror neurons which help us read others and pick up on their emotions. The reason that they’re called mirror neurons is because they mimic what’s going on in the other person.
If you’re a leader, you’re in the spotlight 24/7.
Employees are highly tuned into your behaviour and how you may be feeling. If you’re feeling stressed your emotions are contagious, and your team will automatically feel some of that stress as well.
Being emotionally intelligent means that you can self-regulate and recover quickly –resulting in your being able to manage other people’s emotions so they don’t “catch a dose” of your stress – which lowers the stress for everyone.
Being consciously motivated helps you as a leader feel driven and fulfilled, with very little negative stress. Your team picks up on these emotions which has the ripple effect of motivation your entire team.
Emotionally intelligent leaders are able to gauge where other people are coming from.
They understand their individual personalities and preferred style of communicating; and they’re able to read their behaviours, and understand the motivation behind their emotions.
Having this ability allows you to adapt to the way individuals communicate and help them feel validated and, consequently, more motivated.
Moving forward with more passion and purpose.
Motivated teams are teams that can recover from setbacks much more quickly and move forward with passion and purpose. Working in a less stressful environment, when there is conflict, a leader is able to deal with it appropriately.
Emotionally intelligent leaders develop the empathy and social skills to deal with situations in which there is stress and conflict. By making each person feel heard and understood goes a long way to producing positive outcomes. Even if there is tough feedback to be given, having good social skills can make a big difference as to how the message is delivered, and how it is received – calming down potentially conflictual and stressful situations. Nipping conflict in the bud is paramount to creating an environment in which people want to work. They want an atmosphere where they feel safe to explore their differences and reach satisfactory outcomes.
A workplace in which people thrive.
So emotionally intelligent leaders are able to leverage their influence in a way which takes into consideration multiple factors and their appropriate reactions creates a workplace in which people are able to thrive.